Confidence: I have written about confidence often in this blog, but it was particularly nice to hear about it from a player of his stature. For one, David's confidence wasn't an inborn trait. You'd think a guy with his imposing physique and determination came into the world with a large measure of confidence. But, David told me that his position at that top of the game was by no means a foregone conclusion, that he wasn't a prodigy as a junior, indeed, was told that he had no serious future in squash. Rather, his confidence is built on the bedrock of an arduous work ethic instilled in him by his coach Joe Shaw and assiduously cultivated through his career. As he said to me, "there are no shortcuts. You've got to put in the work." It is so important for young players, subject to self-doubt and intimidation, to know that confidence isn't an inborn trait, but a byproduct of hard work and commitment. David Palmer's career is a testament to this reality. You do not come by a nickname like "The Marine" simply by wanting it. What's said about the US Marines is true about David: "Marines aren't born, they're made." Confidence is a verb, not a noun.
Getting Through on Bad Days: David told me, "it doesn't need to be pretty, it just needs to work." He understood that while we'd love to play our best squash at the important moments, letting go of that desire and that expectation frees us up to play the squash that's needed on the day. As he said, "finals are not about winning 3-0, but about getting the job done." When you drop idealistic expectations, you are able to take the focus off disappointment at what you are not doing and see your way clear to doing the next right thing. For example, though he was down 3-0 to Chris Walker, he and coach Shaun Moxham knew that those two games had been costly for Walker, that they had more gas in their tank and more freshness in their legs than Walker. People speak of his comebacks or his grit as a preternatural ability, but it seems to have been predicated on his willingness to be effective rather than beautiful, on doing what you can rather than what you wish you could. What a liberating cognitive shift! Try that on the next time you are struggling through a big match.
The Power of We: You would think that a guy who has been number 1 in the world would talk a lot about his accomplishments using the first person singular, "I, I, I." And it would be fitting. But, David is extremely clear that his entourage made his squash career possible, and in most sentences of my conversation with him, he used the first person plural, "we, we, we." He mentioned Joe Shaw, the transformation coach who instilled the work ethic that made him The Marine. He mentioned Shaun Moxham who helped him become more tactically sophisticated. He mentioned his PT Pat Hermans, who helped keep his body together during his many, largely injury-free years on tour. But, mainly he mentioned his wife Melinda, "his rock," who supported him 100% through the rigors of life on tour, giving him the platform he needed to perform his best so consistently. Not that many (incredibly strong) guys credit their wives with their strength so thoughtfully and thoroughly. I'm reminded of the t-shirt that many women used to wear that said something like, "Behind every strong man is a stronger woman." It's a true testament to the strength of a man if he can be the one wearing that shirt.
*Alix Williams, "David Palmer: his thoughts on history, and his answer to the biggest question in squash." theshowcourt.com.
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